The worst part of being old is you don't get a chance to practice.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

When I was born, I was given a choice--- a big weinie or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose!

A pessimist is alone. An optimist is two people shy of a threesome!

I rarely get asked out for a date, but when I do, it's April 1...

I want to live in a world where, when the chicken crosses the road, it's motives aren't questioned.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved!

When you become dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra!

One of the things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Aaaah! Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable! (Am I comfortable, or what?)

Awareness is about noticing the moment. It is about stopping, looking, listening, feeling, experiencing fully what is happening. It is a meditation. Awareness turns everything into a meditation.

Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.....

Will Rogers once said that when the Okies left Oklahoma and came to California during the great depression that the average IQ in both states simultaneously jumped 20 points. I'm a CA transplant and may have brought the average down a little on this end! (I'll analyze that later.)

My Dad is German, my mother is Cherokee Indian, and I am in therapy!

Finally, I've come to the conclusion that a conclusion is where one stops when he is tired of thinking........

......speaking of thinking, and who was? I've often wondered if a testicle is a humorous question on an exam! Hmmmmm! .....or if rectitude is a noun and means the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. Huh?

.......speaking of wondering: I've often wondered if outpatient means a person who has fainted! I haven't a clue. I'm "out of it" most of the time!

I was so depressed last night about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck... Go figure..........

People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, and as old as your despair.

Yep, negativity is toxic. You are on this journey of life, so it's easier to sail in calm waters than to sail into other people's storms

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes - the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing that you can't do is ignore them because they change things.

OK! I left to go find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here........

"Well...think I'll go into the bedroom and get out of this damn push-up bra that's squeezing the hell out of my boobies. No need to try to impress you anymore." (What a female friend said to me after I told her my little secret which was "Psst! I'm gay.")

It's all good .....I'm a fun guy, considerate of others, not one to make judgements (not to say I don't have opinions), and live by the mantra "If it's not in my space, using my money or time, it's really none of my business"

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it & if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

Now: On to what my likes, dislikes, wills, and won'ts, etc. are..... It's about time, huh?

I am a free wheeling retired man who loves adventure. On some of my vacations, my best times were when I was totally lost. (I always get back home!) I like the quieter lifestyle, with a rare, very rare "heel-kicking" outing! I like to putter and do it well! I like people who are also laid back and don't get too hyper unless the occasion calls for it.

I like the more mature, larger bears who are total bottom and bears who have a fairly good education and work ethic..... I'm retired and finally have lots of time to travel and play. I like fun bears who can start as well as follow. A bear who would like to be around because he just wants to be and not because he "needs" me would be nice. I admire self-sufficiency! The pic was made nearly 5 years ago when I was almost 80! Good humor can get a man a long way with me! (Blush!) Did I admit that? Whatever!!!! (That was said with resignation!) I learned quite a long time ago that sometimes, in the long run, it is best to just "give up!!!!") (He turns red again!) Oops! Tilt! Guilty! I wear hearing aids! I don't have aids! It's ok if you yell at me at times, but don't make a habit of it! Check first to see if I have my hearing aids in! Sometimes it is questionable if my brain works, or not!!! One of my good friends once said to me, "Paul, sometimes I think if you had half a brain, you would be dangerous! You are just too much of a risk taker and go headlong into exploring the unknown." I begged to differ with him! (I thought it was my moral duty to put up a token opposition!) Well, the exploring, I agree with! I kind of live by the adage: Do not follow where the path may lead. Go where there is no path....... and leave a trail! (My friend is still a good feller, what with me being the forgiving sort of sport I am!) I don't want him spreading that vicious rumor and ruin my good character, or what part of it I have left! (Gulp!) Cheers, Bears!

I'd like to meet a bear who enjoys cooking shows, can cook, and likes to cook for another!!!! If it doesn't go into the microwave or have styrofoam wrapped around it, I'm lost!!!! Even if it goes in the microwave, if it has three, or more, directions, I slide that sucker right back into the frozen food section from whence it came! The worker's at the fast food places know me quite well. In fact, awhile back, one of the little girls at Taco Bell looked up, saw who it was, and said to me, "Oh! Hi! It's you! Do you want the same thing?" I submit to you that I've been in there way too many times! I do outside things well..... and some inside things! Domestics and I have a real odd relationship.

I have the most handsome dawg a man could ever have. However, he is spoiled rotten! (Wonder who did that!) In my next life, I will try to stay one step ahead of him! Go figure.........Not very athletic (i.e, not a jock.), but want somebody who will make me want to take better care of myself, and eat a better and more interesting diet. The dog is NOT a good personal trainer- he thinks I am perfect just as I am- but he does take me for a walk 2x a day at the beach and throw the frisbee for him over and over.....

Now, I'll stop here before I have to find a publisher for this novel... There ought to be SOME mystery , or we won't have anything to talk about!

I'm Paul, and I approve this message.............