Click! The snap of the briefcase fixing is the sound Jim wants to hear more than anything. It means the end of the week. He loosens his tie, slackens his top shirt button and out pops a mass of strangely delicate dark hairs which Jim used to find it difficult to keep down to a manageable level until he found the Bear scene some months before. 'Shall I take my jacket off'? he thinks. 'yeah, I think I will', he mutters. Jim is wearing one of those, pale denim blue shirts, thin enough to reveal his prominent nipples, hard upper body and also the depth of hairs on that chest. Jim has put on a few pounds lately and the buttons are straining ever so slightly, showing a wisp of his chest carpet in places. He loves this now, because he is much more confident about his charms. He is still amazed that he is a Sex God, a Revered Being! All 220kg of solid hairy beary mass! He doesn't care who sees his manliness. It now makes him think of himself in erotic terms like never before, albeit with a slight blush at times, especially if someone gives him the eye.

Now that the students have gone and he is back in his office, he looks out across the rainy, dull urbanised landscape, the backdrop for his working life. There is nothing of interest to him out there... some grubby teenagers, a couple of lacklustre looking workmen, slowly packing up for the day and the drone of the cars and lorries waiting at the traffic lights outside the University. Suddenly his thoughts turn away from drizzle, social anthropology and the nameless Lowry-like figures outside and begin to focus on the weekend ahead; a long one as it happens, a bank holiday and a lieu day from the last one. South -west Scotland is to be his destination, and what an event it should prove to be. The Bear Country Lodge, an all male, all hairy happening, with music, good food, great real ales and other entertainment's, including some Tantric sex-thing, (all too extreme for him) and Mr Bear Country. Jim giggles to himself though, when he thinks of this traditionally feminine activity, the beauty pageant, being transferred to the bear community. He is clear that he could never enter one of these competitions, but he didn't half love to watch them, all those sexy bear types. He had been in a bear bash a couple of weeks ago and seen the most beautiful and - to him unattainable - man ever, the delectable Aiden Clark, who was a runner-up in the competition. Jim had been struck by Aiden's magnanimity in defeat, his wonderful eyes which made Jim's loins twitch uncontrollably. He was in love! His deep dark voice like a velvet cushion upon which Jim could lay back and be soothed... something he needed so badly in his life.

"You not going home, Jim?" shouts Mel, the slimmer, younger, hairless gay tutor, "a quiet time at home this weekend"? Jim hears the sarcasm in Mel's voice, and lets a second or two elapse before explaining.

"Actually I am off to Scotland for a Gay Bear event" Jim says smugly

"Oh" Mel pronounces, with disgust written all over his face, "well you are a dark horse... do be careful, all those fat hairy brutes", he says with clear disdain "no disrespect, of course" he quickly murmurs. Mel has that look of someone who thinks bear culture is just an excuse for a bunch of fat bastards to make themselves feel better, whilst he in his Muscle Mary and anorexic state has it sorted.

"Actually, all the men I have ever met at these type of events, are kind, open and ordinary people. In fact we have a great time, no time for silly posing, we just get along with each other" Jim says with pride.

"Scotland eh? It'll rain of course; it always does", Mel exclaims. "You'll be able to stay indoors and eat burgers and biscuits all weekend" Mel jokes. "Oh and those disgusting kilts! I can't bear those hairy legs either but each to their own I suppose" he laughs seemingly unaware of who he is speaking to.

"You're forgetting the gulf stream" Jim declares triumphantly "And, the weather forecast for here is dreadful, as well" Jim realises that it is impossible to argue with such a blinkered gay boy view.

"It won't worry me! There are only three things I am doing this weekend: sleeping, gymming and clubbing, so it can rain as much as it likes". He starts to exit "and it won't bother me, blurghhhh!!" sticking our his grey tongue "save me from the countryside, yuck" Mel shouts out as he leaves, "Have fun" he calls out ironically from the corridor.

Jim falls back into his luxurious office chair after this whirlwind exchange and he is disquieted; he is still flaky when someone challenges his new community. He closes his eyes, and thinks for a few moments about the discussion. He realises more and more that he is part of a culture which reveres the hairy body beautiful, and heaven knows he has that in abundance. He is beginning to lose his inhibitions, but it is still hard sometimes for him. Before his Eureka! moment back in the Spring, he had just thought of himself for years as the fat hairy bloke. The one who sat in the prissy gay bar and faced endless rejection, all those skinny twinks and muscle Marys, looking down their noses at him, just the same as Mel does. Jim often is suprised at how many gay men are dismissive of other gay men and of any kind of difference really.

Jim suddenly finds himself looking forward to going home as he will be spending time in the bathroom, soaping himself up in the shower, stroking his hairy body, definitely getting aroused as the mirrored tiles reflect his beauty and his thoughts move to Aiden, oh elusive Aiden, the cover boy for last months Bear Country. Jim begins to imagine his hands being those of Aiden, caressing his every curve, especially that curvaceous part of him below his belly where is legs meet his body, the dark hairy and musky place, where he hoped one day Aiden would snuggle before moving to the prize. It blows Jim's mind to think of anybody being down their with their tongue, down at his horny zone, but if it were Aiden he knew he would barely be able to keep his cool. He would then find and stroke his hairy nipples with his fingertips, which although large have a sensitive and gentle way with them. Where would all this erotic play lead him? he wonders. Another solitary climax? Suddenly he knows he won't care, especially as his new found sexiness thrills him and makes his desire for the chase even more unbearable and more out of reach, but also more thrilling. What used to be a fairly quick wank, sure of his 'who am I kidding if my fantasies come true notion, now have a sublime possibility. He will move his hands under his arms as he lifts each of them above his head, stretching back and watching in the mirror as his great hairy belly protrudes, his pride and joy, that great man berth, although not many men have so far docked there. His hair is in a line at its thickest from just below his sternum down over and across his belly button and down further to his favourite place, the one he wishes Aiden would lick, like the man-bear he is. The feel of the hot water and the silky suds is wonderful, as he caresses himself all over; down the back of his legs, where the muscle is contracted to hold his legs and torso aloft; the gentle slope of his mighty steep neck as it descends to the plateau of his upper arms; those great muscular shoulder blades, which his hands skirt over, and his magnificently hairy tool, the foreskin of which he gently unfolds revealing its head. This bulbous thing is framed by his great pensile and furry balls. "God I am beautiful", he shyly and nervously says to himself, as he comes. . . . . . . to from his erotic day dream. He is still in his office chair. It must be time to make tracks, he thinks, but he was enjoying his fantasy of his fantasy. What does this knowledge about his new found sexiness and desirability mean to him though? He is feeling warm and comforted in a way that only a day dream can make one. He knows he is on the verge of something and yet there is a way to go yet.

Jim's phone rings; it's Jasper his old mate from college, the one straight friend he still has from his own university days... funny how so many of his peers have fallen by the wayside, trying at first to be all understanding, but it's clear that the constant explaining to new girlfriends and eventual wives, exhausted their ability to be there for Jim.

"Hello Jasper, how are you? Jim says suddenly registering Jasper is in the pub where he has been waiting on Jim for over an hour. Jim mouths (fuck! fuck! fuck!)

"I am so sorry, I am leaving now" Jim replied shamefaced, and hurriedly gathering up the friendly briefcase and his jacket. He is in good old Jim mode now as he walks out feeling that terrible pang when you know you have to tell an old friend about a momentous change in your life, which may or may not impact on that friendship, this one seems like a second coming out. Will Jasper notice a change in him? He bloody well ought to. No more tweed jacket with the leather patches and the loosely checked shirt, nor the corduroy pants with the turn ups and the brogues. Now he is a leather jacketed, denim shirted, Levi strutting, DM-shod Bear God. Will Jasper be ready for this?

Standing outside the 'Crown and Thistle', Jim feels a barbed pang of doubt in himself. He steps back and faces the corner kerb and watches the traffic as it passes, everyone unaware of the state he is in. A man walks up and passes him, another bear in fact, and flashes him a smile as he does. Jim feels his new found confidence returning, turns on his heels, flashes a smile back at his 'bear brother' and charges into the pub. He cannot see Jasper immediately as he scans the bar, the juke box banging out 'I want your sex' but finally, stuck in the corner he notices a small middle aged man, reading the Daily Express. Jim thinks suddenly that he is looking at a facsimile of his old self, the slightly worn corduroy trousers, the old velvet jacket, the tie (it's Friday evening for goodness' sake!) and the newspaper. Jasper couldn't look more out of place and Jim realises that this was him only a few months ago. Jim looks around at the other clientele and feels suddenly very at home in this place, despite the potential difficulty of the meeting.

Jasper looks up, his eyes wide with surprise as he looks him up and down like a pro, and after a moment smiles and raises his hand, as his newspaper collapses and he struggles clumsily to grab it again. Jim, feels for Jasper, and moves towards him to minimise his friend's embarrassment. "Another pint?" Jim asks, as Jasper looks him up and down again, in surprise. "Er, yes please Jim" Jasper says formally, whilst shaking Jim's hand. Instantly regaining his composure he exclaims "What happened to you? I hardly recognise you. You look so young and so different. You'll be telling me you've had Botox next".

Jim looking affronted hastily says "Let me get the drinks and I'll tell you all about it", and he goes to the bar. This brief respite enables him to sort his head out, before this new 'coming out' to his old friend.

Having got the beer and his pint of Guinness he walks back to Jasper who is still looking incredulous, Jim takes a breath and removes his leather jacket. Jasper looks at his friend's new physique with some awe, but says nothing. "Yes I've been going to the gym" says Jim looking down at his belly, which is rock hard, and slowly moves his hands up to his pert pecs, softly sweeping hands down them to his belly again and pinching his waist like a model. "It's really paying off and I am feeling great"

"So who is it this time, who are you pining for. You know it'll end in tears" Jim says knowingly and with a degree of misplaced judgment.

"No one" Jim retorts somewhat defensively. Jasper is a good man but always wants to diffuse any attempt by Jim to actually have a partner or love interest. He is one of those so-called right-on liberals who don't mind you being gay, but heaven forbid you ever hook up with someone who you might have a long-term relationship with. That way they don't have to ever face the idea of their friend actually having gay sex. For Jasper he probably is happy if Jim has anonymous sex even in public as long as he doesn't present him with another man to wonder about, in a sexual sense.

"Actually, I am going away to a Bear Bash tomorrow morning" says Jim proudly.

"A what?" quizzes Jim "What on earth is that?" A moment passes as Jasper frantically searches his mind for a possible meaning, and all he can come up with is a club he had heard about for 'anoraks' who are into Steiff teddy bears. "Oh, I see, I didn't know you were into them, aren't you a little old for toys"

Jim looks puzzled wondering whether Jasper is being obtuse or is in fact more clued up than he knows. Not even he would describe a gay bear as a toy, so it seems a little unlikely that homely and straight Jasper would. "What do you mean?" enquires Jim

"Well, I take it you are going to one of those teddy bear conventions, although I must admit it is a surprise" Jasper says blithely

"Don't be silly, man" Jim replies "I am going to a gay bear bash, it's a social event for people like me: hairy gay men. I found out recently that's what I am and I love it. It seems I am all the rage with my new friends in the bear community. All these years I have thought no one would be interested in me and I never knew what I was missing."

"So it's an weekend long orgy is it?" Jasper snorts pompously and with a wry smile. "You be careful, I know what those places are like. They can be dangerous and all that anonymous sex is meaningless. You never get to know anyone and getting pissed up and out of it is no way to find a lasting relationship."

Jim sits back in his chair and eyes up his old friend and waits a moment. He then decides he has heard enough. "So how do you know about those kinds of places, Jasper? How do you know what happens at them? Who said anything about anonymous sex? Although chance would be a fine thing" Jim smiles as he thinks of sex with Aiden and then continues. "That's a load of assumptions, Jasper, unless you have been hiding your secret gay life from me for all these years" Jim says proudly, his own self-worth rising up inside him. "I've been to one of these events before and actually people talk to each other, have fun, get to know one another and it feels like a community to me. That's a damn sight more than happens at the squash club parties. I've been going to them for years and still don't know most of the people; not really. They're all locked inside their own little rigid worlds. It's mad."

"Well, you be careful, if you must get involved with all that stuff" Jasper says blithely once more, looking at his watch. "Time I was going" he adds, downing the dregs of his first pint and leaving the pint Jim had bought for him. "You'll be turning up in a dress next!". Jasper stands up and pats Jim on the head in a patronising way. "I preferred the old you" he said definitely and with certainty of purpose.

"Too late, this is the New me now, and I'm proud of me" Jim announces. "Are you not going to finish your pint?"

Jasper looks uncomfortable and even a little puzzled, "No, Jim I've heard and seen enough" Jasper says expressing some hurt and a degree of anger, barely suppressed.

"Oh, well then see you, Jasper, I guess our meeting went as I expected, so maybe it's time to say goodbye" Jim declares with a measure of regret and a surprising amount of relief. This ending seems like another piece of the jigsaw of his new life coming together.

Jasper stares at Jim, and turning, walks away silently. There is a discernible sound of a slam in the pub doors. Jim sits for a moment as he tries to make sense of what seems like the end of a relationship, judging by the depth of Jasper's reaction. Funny how we can think people are our friends but it seems many people want to be our friend only for as long as we conform to their picture of us. He finishes his pint and leaves the pub, and sees the bear from earlier propped up against a telephone box. He smiles at Jim and Jim stops for a moment and says "See you" as he smiles back. The Bear raises his hand, looks a little sad and says "Yeah, see ya mate" as he turns away and walks back down the street. Jim is so happy. When he needed some reassurance there was his rescuer, wanting to know him, fancying him, being interested, proving that Jim is worth knowing.

Jim had flown home on the bus; sitting upstairs something he never usually did. "This must be part of my new found confidence and rebellion", he mused. Now he was turning the key in the lock, he was home; he could relax now and contemplate the weekend, without any anxiety. His meeting with Jasper had convinced him, unexpectedly, of his own worth and, sad as it was, he was going to be better off without this so-called friend. He drops his keys by the front door and throws his jacket on the couch. The Guinness has made him very hungry, as it always did, so he decides to order in some food, which he does, and after realising that the delivery would take forty minutes, Jim thinks it will be a good use of his time to have a shower.

He goes into the bedroom, and realising as he looks at himself lovingly that he is feeling horny, he starts to undress, undoing the top button of his shirt, to reveal his glorious hairy indentation, where is collar bones meet; the opening offers a glimpse of what is to come for his sweetheart, Aiden. He looks at his own reflection, at his own eyes, in a deep and penetrating way, the sensual and tender manner in which he would look at Aiden, if he had the chance. Another button is undone and another, now it is possible for Jim to see the valley between his pecs, all dark, warm and deeply hairy. By this time Jim is hard and bursting at his new Diesel Y-Fronts, but it isn't time to go there yet. Jim slowly slides a hand inside his shirt to stroke his nipple; he imagines his delight if Aiden were doing just that and his bulge twitches. He is so turned on now, so sure of his sexual power and his own attractiveness. The rest of his buttons are now undone and he sees what Aiden will see, or so he hopes: a magnificent manly torso, strong and certain. Jim feels his erotic energy and its power is almost too much for him, he is glued to Aiden in his mind's eye, he feels engulfed by his image, by him even, and at the same time his passion and his new found appeal is set to inundate the object of his desire and his love. Out of nowhere, he is suddenly dumbfounded, he is taken back, straight to his teenage years in an instant, to those night time emanations, where the world disappears for a moment as all a man feels is his own connection with and engulfing of the world. He has for the first time a full body orgasm and he is now at one with his being and his love. He is invincible!. Perfect bliss. This is an ejaculation he will not forget unless he can sample the object of his desire for himself, maybe then this feeling will be surpassed. What a dream that is, he thinks, as he lays back and luxuriates in the tides of pleasure and happiness wash over him. He drifts, dozing with the thought of Aiden in his arms, reliving the deep pleasure of a moment ago. He continues to drift and then suddenly he hears the doorbell...